Political Flipsides, lol Options

[cosmic]

So, you’re probably a conservative/right-winger if:

1. You believe any of the rancid trash that spews out of radio pundit Rush Limbaugh’s mouth. He waved goodbye to anything close to the truth a very long time ago.

2. You think the Fox News Channel is actually “fair and balanced.” Shakespeare would probably agree with me that when you have to make that claim at least 20 times an hour, the channel “doth protest too much, me thinks.”

3. You regard minorities as a problem and not as a people. Seriously, you’ll talk about the “the problem with blacks,” or “the gay insurgence in the U.S.,” and forget we’re pretty much all Americans here.

4. You know a good economic policy is one that flows from the top down. They used to call it “trickle-down economics.” You give the rich perks (like a big tax break) and hope that money somehow reaches the less fortunate. So when my tuition goes up, does that mean the faculty and staff are getting paid more?

5. Your God should be running the country, taking away a woman’s right to choose, displaying his paraphernalia in government buildings, funneling money into only his charities, and marginalizing those who don’t bow down as unequal citizens.

6. You think the Golden Rule says, “He who has gold, rules.”

7. You smoke and drink, but are all for sentencing someone to life in prison for pushing marijuana, because weed is, you know, a dangerous drug and all.

8. You don’t see why anyone should get government assistance for anything and think that living in the greatest country in the world means survival of the fittest. Because that’s how we got through the Great Depression, right?

9. You believe the environment is a myth created by liberals.

10. You tell your kids the best way to deal with terrorism is to attack more Arab countries while filling up the 30-gallon tank in your SUV.


You might be a left-wing bleeding-heart extremist if

* You think militia groups are more dangerous than inner-city gangs.

* You believe that if all guns were banned all crime would disappear.

* You believe that criminals will flock to gun buy-back programs to turn in thei
r guns.

* You know who Gloria Steinem is and you would vote for her.

* You believe that the CIA has a secret file about you.

* You believe that Bill Clinton is a moderate, and he never lied (or inhaled).

* You believe Ted Kennedy has a pleasant enough personality, but that he is too
accommodating.

* You believe that if the government funded one less black "stealth" helicopter
thousands of starving children could be fed.

* You think the government should have more control in the lives of the people.

* You believe in "government bureaucracy supremacy."

* You think that it takes a village to raise a child.

* You think that communism just got bad publicity.

* You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...as long as the childs feelings arent hurt.

* You think public schools are superior to home shooling.

* Your cellar is well stocked with marijuana, Clinton/Gore '96 stickers, and the
complete works of Barbara Streisand.

* You believe we would solve most of our health care problems if government woul
d just increase taxes.

* You believe that balancing the budget will give tax breaks to the rich and tak
e food out of the mouths of children.

* You believe the only reason UFOs havent made contact is because aliens would n
ot survive in our filthy, polluted environment.

* You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic.

* You believe that adult white males are racist, sexist and homophobic.

* You favorite sport is MTVs "Singled Out".

* You have demanded that a local store stop selling books that contain the words
"Jesus Christ", but insist they make pro-homosexual literature available to chi
ldren.

* You think the only problem with welfare is that not enough people are on it.

* You believe Randy Weaver is a dangerous criminal with an arsenal.

* You think it is time for the ACLU to openly take over the Democratic Party.

* You think the media is too conservative.

* If there was a book of the teachings of David Bonior, you would buy it.

* Your kids attend an EPA summer camp.

* You smile when you hear a report that someone has attempted to assassinate New
t Gingrich.

* You write to your congressmen and insist they change the words in the First Am
endment from "freedom of religion" to "freedom FROM religion."

* You believe the US military is a branch of the BATF.

* You would vote for Hillary Clinton.

* You believe the Black Panthers have some good ideas, but you hate their fashio
ns.

* You believe Louis Farrakhan is a statesman of the first order.

* You dont think its fair that some people have bigger houses than others.

* You believe law enforcement should be federalized; their primary goal being to
enter homes and confiscate guns.

* You have donated money to turn O.J. Simpsons house into a Victim's Shrine.

* You believe all hell would break loose if it werent for the UN.

* You believe Richard Nixon was a conscious agent of the Nazi conspiracy and tha
t he had John F. Kennedy murdered.

* You believe that if anybody disagrees with your point of view its because they
havent done enough LSD (a Frank Fleischmann classic).

* You dont think its fair that people should have to work to earn a living.

* You think the Republican Party is plotting to starve children and senior citiz
ens, and to pollute the nations fresh water supply.

* You define the "rich" as anybody making over $27000 each year.

* You believe that black people cannot possibly succeed on their own; that they
need your help.

* You believe the National Rifle Association is a bloated bureaucracy that likes
guns more than people.

* You find Christianity and anything relating to it potentially harmful to you a
nd your children, but youre completely open-minded to Buddism, Taoism, witchcraf
t, etc.

* You think Rush Limbaugh was planted by the Republican Party to brainwash liste
ners with subliminal messages.

* You believe that Vietnam has been completely honest with us regarding POWs and
MIAs.

* You believe it is dangerous to let anyone BUT Washington control civil and ind
ividual rights.

* You believe the Rikki Lake TV program is the most accurate news source on tele
vision.

* You want to outlaw tobacco and legalize marijuana.

* You think porpoises are the most intelligent creatures on earth.

* You think that the money left over in your paycheck is a gift from the governm
ent.

* You think that it is impossible for a black person to be a racist.

* You think that it is impossible for a woman to be a sexist.

* You believe that the problem with handing out condoms to school children is th
at they should be handed out to them at an earlier age.

* You don't view people as individuals, but rather as members of a group.


Difference Between Republicans and Democrats

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?

Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.

[Moremi]

[Moremi]

[zapatista]

Did you notice that the left-wing bleeding-heart extremist list was like 3 times longer then the conservative one!! that is tooo funny

[Moremi]

[cosmic]

[zapatista]