Its Hard Man?, girl problems part 2 Options

[Rage Man Leca]

well there's a lady that I really liked for about what 5 months or something. She is so cool and so smart. Me and her have almost everything in common. we love movies, books, taking about political issues etc, but there is one big problem.

I wouldn't call my self a punk, but you know i listen to punk rock, i go punk shows, you know do punk things..... the only reason why i don't want to be called a punk is because i hate fucking labeling..... oh your this your that. I am my own person......... but anywho she isn't. I am a person who dosen't eat meat, where anything manufactured by abuse... in other words sweatshop free, all my soaps and shit aren't tested on animals etc.
but she wears make up , wears sweatshop chlothes, eats meat . I really don't know what to do. I never meat a girl who is some what close to my personality.

So what the hell should i do...... i am burning up inside. Should i tell her not to wear make-up because its tested on animals or what..... don't want to piss her off .

all i think about is her....... help please

but we have so much in common in the inside, but not the outside?
fuck... help

Rage Man Leca

[Manifest]

bro lighten up a little just because she is not concious of certain things doesn't make her a bad person, that shouln't even matter if you are really into each other.


ps. I wouldn't take my suggestions to serious I know nothing about women, still trying to hook up with my fist lady friend and im almost fricken 18 and that is sad.

[Sara]

QUOTE (Rage Man Leca @ May 20 2003, 10:13 AM)

but she wears make up , wears sweatshop chlothes, eats meat . I really don't know what to do. I never meat a girl who is some what close to my personality. So what the hell should i do...... i am burning up inside. Should i tell her not to wear make-up because its tested on animals or what..... don't want to piss her off . all i think about is her....... help please but we have so much in common in the inside, but not the outside? fuck... help Rage Man Leca

hey

how can she be so close to u, if she disagrees with u on issues that consitute a fundemental part of ur attitudes and behaviours?

all i can think of is, u really really really like her, which is great, u can't tell her not to wear make up, u know, im sure u do, coz u mentioned it'd piss her off, but also, well, it's kind of non of ur business, because u guys are not like best buddys or in a long term relationship.


i do though think that, it's totally up to u. i dont think that she will change just to go out with u, but, i do think, that if u can over look these diffrences, and go out with her, and u guys become close, then she might start wearing bodyshop make up, which isnt tested on animals, because she became aware of ur views and became convinced of them.

[Rage Man Leca]

^ thanks sarah, awareness. i like how you said that!

anyone else help?

[ozorage]

i find myself over-analyzing shit with guys too....
he'll seem cool as hell....we dig the same music, chill at rallies, talk about interesting shit....and then i get all fixated on the pair of nikes on his feet.....

.....it's all good though. have u talked to her about these particular issues?....sweatshops and animal abuse?

[zapatista]

^yep, i agree! Maybe she just doesn't know about all of the problems with her clothes and all that...si si, if you dig her...tell her what's up! But, in a respectful way..ya know..we all had to learn the truth from somewhere...you should teach this fine young grasshopper!

[Rage Man Leca]

QUOTE (ozorage @ May 20 2003, 08:17 PM)

i find myself over-analyzing shit with guys too.... he'll seem cool as hell....we dig the same music, chill at rallies, talk about interesting shit....and then i get all fixated on the pair of nikes on his feet..... .....it's all good though. have u talked to her about these particular issues?....sweatshops and animal abuse?

I mean sometimes, but sometimes she wears sweatshop fee chlthes then the next day she is wearing a short skirt with make-up and shit?
I can't just say stop wearing that etc...... i am a really shy to myself person.
but ya i guess i will inform her about certain issues, if you know what i meen.

Rage Man Leca

[Rage Man Leca]

my old girlfriend was one of the coolest girl that i meet.... i meet her at a Anti-Flag show last july and she was a vegan, wore the coolest chlothes, and we talked forever about anything, but see moved to BC (British Columbia). I was heartbroken, its really hard for me to open up and shit...... them came another girl who who has what i like but there's something missing.
Lauren (old girl firend, BC one) is a friend forever.... never met a girl so cool... and we meat at a anti-flag show... how fucking cool!
Anyone else got ideas?
Rage Man Leca

[Sara]

u didnt like that girl when she was wearing miniskirt and makeup?



u know, i dont think this can work out, it seems like she is very different from u. like, it seems to me, that u r greatly bothred by what she wears, because she wears everything u stand against kinda thing.


i dont know, go to more antiflag shows i guess, i mean, there u will find ppl u get along with like u did with ur exgf / friend.


what do u think?

[Moremi]

I think it's a bad idea to go into a relationship wanting to change the other person. In the end, one or both of you are going to be very miserable. You can't fix another person. That person has to want to change. If she is happy the way she is, she will just end up resenting you if you try to change her. Find someone with similar values.

[ozorage]

^very true.

but rage man leca....you're young. don't worry about this shit too much. just enjoy life. go with your gut instinct.

[Rage Man Leca]

QUOTE (Sarah @ May 21 2003, 11:09 AM)

u didnt like that girl when she was wearing miniskirt and makeup? u know, i dont think this can work out, it seems like she is very different from u. like, it seems to me, that u r greatly bothred by what she wears, because she wears everything u stand against kinda thing. i dont know, go to more antiflag shows i guess, i mean, there u will find ppl u get along with like u did with ur exgf / friend. what do u think?

i mean i like her a lot but she just dosen't share the same values as i do. she is a very intelligent lady and i really like talking to her.

and another thing about her.. she doesn't challenge me at all... Lauren my old girl friend evrytime we saw each other she would challenge me right off the bat.


but i guess it dosen't reall matter what she wears right? as long as we have feeling toward each other right?

i'm going to Syracuse on july 4th to see guess who....... Anti Flag

Rage Man Leca

[Rage Man Leca]

QUOTE (ZDLRfan @ May 21 2003, 04:07 PM)

I think it's a bad idea to go into a relationship wanting to change the other person. In the end, one or both of you are going to be very miserable. You can't fix another person. That person has to want to change. If she is happy the way she is, she will just end up resenting you if you try to change her. Find someone with similar values.

its hard finding someone like me....... that's why Lauren meant so much to me..... ah well someone will come along.

[Rage Man Leca]

QUOTE (ozorage @ May 21 2003, 05:16 PM)

^very true. but rage man leca....you're young. don't worry about this shit too much. just enjoy life. go with your gut instinct.

i gut instinct is telling me, just be firends with her....... i mean i know see likes me a lot. I don't want to be an asshole about it!

is there a way to tell her lets be friends..... but see really really likes me, i can just tell when see looks at me, when see calls me etc...

any suggestions?
Rage Man Leca

[Sara]

what ur saying now sounds different from ur first post. in ur first post it sounded to me like the attraction was mutual, now it seems that she is the one that likes u, but u are not that keen

also, it seems like u are trying to justify ur attraction to her by saying

QUOTE

but i guess it dosen't reall matter what she wears right? as long as we have feeling toward each other right

see this proves to me u like her, but there's this bit of conflict, coz she doesnt believe in what u believe in. here's what i would do if this was me, but of course we are two different individuals, all im saying is, if i was u, and this person i liked so much physically or intellectually, but we disagree on something as fundemental as wearing leather, then i wouldnt date her. it's such a deep issue, it'll cause problems.


i'll assume we both agree on this, coz u also said u'd like to be friends with her, but ur not sure how to tell her, or how to get the idea to her because she likes u and u feel bad, here's what i think, just be completely clueless towards all that 'courtship' if she's making moves, just sorta act like she isnt u know, coz she can't proceed unless u are responding, and if ur not, she's gonna move on. i very much doubt that u doing that will affect ur friendship, and if it did, maybe she wasnt worthy of that friendship to begin with.

u can do that, or u can tell her that u are only interested in friendship and nothing more, but this will be very very dangerous, coz u are not 100% sure that she likes u likes u, so u dont wanna be messing with that.


hope that helps